For me, the most important thing to do to keep your workload down and keep calm is by being consistent with heading and altitude choices. It becomes automatic, while still remaining flexible at the same time.
For example, radar patterns at KAPA. To be consistent use the same heading and altitude. Aircraft takes off runway 35R, turn heading 140 climb to 10000ft, heading 170, heading 260 to 9000ft, clear heading 320 at 9000ft. Then repeat for each pattern, each aircraft.
Makes it easier to react to specific situations, like missed approaches or trying to fit an inbound in. If you’re consistent with the heading and altitude you’ll know exactly where they are without even having to look at the screen.
More predictable situations. Try to send the least commands as possible.